Why be happy?

Happiness. 

A cognitive researcher, Nancy Etcoff, believes that “the pursuit of happiness is obligatory.” She theorizes that “We are wired to pursue happiness; not only to enjoy it, but to want more and more of it.”  

True enough, Amazon.com has got over 2,000 titles of books with advice on the 7 habits, 9 choices, 10 steps, 12 secrets, and 14,000 thoughts that are supposed to bring happiness (Etcoff, 2004). 

Some believe that they can actually increase their happiness through medication. Hence, there are more than 120 million prescriptions for anti-depressants (Etcoff, 2004). 

On a purely experiential level, is it not true that we look for and, perhaps, even pursue individuals, endeavors, hobbies and whatnots that make us happy while we tend to avoid those which cause us pain and sadness?

Why Happiness?

Article 92 of our Constitutions tells us not just to imitate the virtues of the Blessed Virgin Mary; or to marvel at her fidelity at the hour of the cross; or just to follow her way of prayer. In concrete terms, we are also asked to contemplate and imitate her joy which is real, authentic, and genuine because of her experience of God. 

Because she encountered God, she no longer remained the same, even as gold touched by fire cannot not be different. The smoldering flame not only tests it, but also removes its impurities and transforms it.

Upon being greeted by the Angel, Mary’s happiness is initiated and cascades upon the people she meets along the way. 

I think of her cousin Elizabeth and the baby John the Baptist in her womb whose joy they couldn’t be contained because no less than the mother of their Lord visited them.

I think of the overjoyed newlyweds at Cana in the Gospel according to St. John who witnessed the first miracle of Jesus, thanks to the mediation of the Blessed Mother. 

I think of the first Christian community who must have been both nourished and edified immensely by the example of the Mother of Christ.

Calauan Experience

Upon arriving in Calauan last week, we received the bad news that a former driver of the community committed suicide by using a piece of electric wire to hang himself. When his relatives forced open the door of their toilet, he was already lifeless. His feet could touch the floor; but he chose to kneel down in order to not support himself. He was already determined to meet his end.   

Not having fully recovered yet from that news we were not aware that something else would come our way. The following day, Sunday, it was already past midnight when a mother’s loud cries broke the silence. She was asking for help. Her 14-year old daughter was stabbed seven times at the back and she was brought to site 2, where the convent is for some assistance. 

We were told that heart was still beating when she was brought to us, but it was already too late for her when she was rushed to the hospital. She was dead on arrival. 

I found myself asking, nay begging, for some wisdom from the Blessed Mother so that, somehow, she can help me grasp why these things have to happen. And if indeed, she really is the Help of Christians, what nature of help did she extend to these hapless individuals? 

When I arrived back in site 2, after assisting in the Mass held at site 1, I got the answer to these questions. 

It was shown to me in the countenance of the young people who seemed so happy in the company of the brothers who were assisting them. They were cheerful, their laughter sounded real, and as much as I tried to check some traces of fear in them, I couldn’t find any.  

I am sure that they learnt of the news that one of their friends died a gruesome death. And if security in the neighborhood will not improve, one of them could be the next. But I could read from their faces that they’re least bothered; mindless of the danger that may just snatch their life away. They’re simply happy.  

I found it really good to be with them, for unbeknownst to me, they were teaching me the value of trust and hope in the midst of a terribly frightening situation. 

That time, it hit me as to how daring I could be in remonstrating with the Blessed Mother as to the role she played in those difficult times, when in fact, I was reminded that she herself was no stranger of what it was to undergo pain; her only Son suffered a cruel death. 

And yet, she didn’t confront God or at least, it was not too important to be put on record; consistent with how she obeyed when the Angel relayed to her the good news of her divine conception, she maintained her serene, trusting composure. 

After all, God remains in control. 

And opening herself to God’s will, she was always happy to fully consent to His arrangements.

Conquered Fears!

This piece was penned by then Asp. Paul Dungca, an incoming novice this year. He wrote it for The InsideOut, the official publication of Don Bosco Seminary in Canlubang Laguna.

Fear is rooted in one thing, uncertainty. We are frightened because we are not sure of many circumstances. Just for example, we are so afraid of ghosts/spirits because we have no concrete and sufficient knowledge on them. An analogy can be given to our up-to-the-minute Brother Assistant, Donnie Duchin Duya, not of the spirits but of the feeling—fear.

During the advent of his arrival, many of the seminarians were wandering on what kind of Assistant is in imminent. Several of them especially the lower years were apprehensive because of his peculiar face. It seems to be hiding millions of dogmatic stuff. Another reason of trepidation is that of his huge and heavy name, attached with an exclamation point, Donnie Duya! His postures and movement seems to be esteemed, vigilant and jagged. And apparently everything that concerns him must be in its most refined condition. Not wanting to be frank, but maybe 7 out of 10 seminarians have an impression that of he is “weird”, from looks to moves. And 3 out of 10 would say “a man of perfection”. Take it figuratively.

Now, it’s been two months since he “stunningly” arrived in our community. And ecce, fears started to subside, from impressions into recognitions. He “was” not the assistant of our ideals, not existing at all. His so called peculiar face is just a mere asset of his covered and yet genuine humility. Plus his name, it will remain as it is a sheer name—special and yet a personal term of his character on which later on will add a new meaning in their (seminarians) vocabulary, depending on their relationship to him.  His seemingly respectable postures where erased off by his “mock seriousness”, which is in reality his own way of sweet nothing and endearment. 

Making a survey now, the statistical and numerical value above will appear no more. Because since he arrived, he had only one goal and that is to penetrate each seminarian’s heart. Which will give him later on a ratio of 1 is to 1 (1:1), one Donnie is to one seminarian, diverse from each other.

I personally found it hard to write this article, I do not know on what to scribble about him and his influx. But shortly have decided to write my feelings towards him while jotting this, fear. Writing this, surely the fear will die, it will be conquered. For now, there is somewhat certainty.

Recommendations on Vacation

Before anything else, Merry  Christmas!

 

Fr. Joe, our seminary catechist asked me to synthesize some valuable inputs of Don Bosco for our seminarians who will be home for vacation. I'm posting this set of recommendations not only for the benefit of some of my seminarian friends , but also for any ordinary students, Bosconians in particular, who may find them useful.

Now, let's hear from Don Bosco himself:

I don’t recall anyone returning from home to tell me he had behaved better at home than the Oratory, nor do I recall anyone telling me that his vacation had brought him spiritual advantage. On the contrary, every year, I have often had to deplore many falls from grace.

These will make for a true vacation, and, more importantly, a sinless vacation.

• As soon as you get home, greet your parents, hug them and give them my most heartfelt regards. Respect and obey your parents; do all you can to make them happy.

• Then, visit your parish priest, give him my regards. Ask him if there is anything you can do around the church while on vacation.

• The word vacation, from the Latin verb vacare means “to be busy, to be occupied.” You may not be occupied with school, but you should continue to be occupied with work, study or prayer.

• Keep yourselves always busy and live in God’s presence. Don’t waste your time at home, and, whatever you may do, always remember that Our Lord sees you.

• While home with your family, help your dad and mom, give them some help: clean the house, set the table, maintain your garden… keep yourself forever busy!

• Play games with your family: cards, chess, any game you find relaxing.

• Sleep also a little longer but avoid the “noonday devil.” (Ps 90, 6)

• Be moderate in eating, don’t overeat.

• As long as there are books to read, read!

• Read to learn, not just for pleasure. Read useful books.

• Endeavor to live as good Christians, as you do here at the Oratory:
o Serve Holy Mass every morning. If you can’t, attend Mass devoutly.
o To receive Jesus in better disposition, spend some time in meditation.

• Avoid bad books and bad companions.

• Avoid laziness.

• Avoid idleness.

Culled from pp. 335 -345 of the Biographical Memoirs XIII