After we talked, I still couldn’t sleep. I was really surprised by what you have told me. Until now, I still can’t believe that you are leaving. I cannot embrace the fact that I am losing a friend anew.
****, this may be a futile effort to convince you to change your decision, But I really wish to leave you a piece of myself through this note. Let me express here the memories I have of you.
Thanks for making me a part of your seminary journey. I will cherish the memories we had together, your helping me with my chores and my work whenever yours is done; your effort to keep my spirit up when no one knew that I was groping for help; your unassuming gesture that never fails to welcome me.
I think I was not able to thank you much, I hope that this letter can express what my heart was not able to tell you how thankful I was.
I think our friendship started when we had that casual conversation aboard the jeep when we were going home from Buntot Palos. You opened up your life to me. And I eagerly listened.
That day, I gently told myself that I would have to take care of you, as Saint Exupery said in Little Prince “You are responsible to those whom you have tamed.”
In as much as I have shared with you some things, you too, have also enriched me in so many ways. For one, I appreciate your humility. You ask questions when you don’t know the answer, rather than pretending you know it. You are always ready to learn, always willing to become a better person.
I also admire how you can appreciate the little things people have done for you.
When I handed your group the letter, the night before your thesis defense, it was only you who thought of writing me back, expressing how you appreciate my effort. I never expected that kind effort, but you did.
When we had the August 15 celebration, you acknowledged me in your blog and even pasted my letter on your site. This moved me. I will never forget it.
Those deeds may mean nothing to some people, but for me, they mean a lot. My heart will always remember them.
You are a beautiful person. Outside, you will encounter countless people who will dispute this. Don’t believe them. Believe in the positive feeling you have of yourself. Nothing, nobody should drag you down. Don’t allow them.
A brotherly advice
All good-natured seminarians who leave the seminary grieve. They show remorse over the thought that they betrayed their calling; that they turned their back on their friends who are still inside. I am sure that you will experience this. Don’t worry, it is normal. Cry if you must. This is one ritual we humans do in order to heal our woundedness.
When you’re feeling down, try to look back to the wonderful experiences and beautiful people you met, not only in the seminary, but also those that you have encountered ever since you were a child.
They will be a constant reminder that God loves you. And He goes on sending his many instruments to tell you and make you feel that you are loved.
I might have shown how I care for you, but I will have to humbly admit that His love outweighs mine big time.
I will never fail to commend your intentions in my prayers.
Love and prayers,