Thursday, June 26, 2008

Confession sitner

I went for confession earlier and the penance was for me to journal about it. Hence, I'm writing this entry. I will update my journal later before I bunk down. And I will surely write something about the incident in gory details, as usual.

If my memory serves me right, I only zeroed in on two matters. It was a face-to-face set up, we were not inside the confessional box, and so, I was staring on the floor. A futile attempt not to meet his eyes. After all, I was not only ashamed in confessing my sins. I was dead guilty in committing them.

When we reached the counseling part, I stole a glance, and realized that he was looking at me.

And then, unmistakeably, I saw in his lips that affected, knowing smile.

And the exchange goes on, more or less, like here below:

He: We're on the same boat.
Me: Really?! Wow. Am Glad. At least, you know how it feels.
He: Yeah...laughs
Me: laughs
He: But of course, we have a choice. We always have a choice to be compassionate, and to be instrument of God's love and mercy. And, we also have a choice to do otherwise, to choose what is the opposite.
Me: Yeah...But it's difficult.

Nah, it was not his learned counsel which prompted me to write this entry. Hands down, I saw wisdom in his words. They remind me that I ought to become an instrument of God's love. Something, which I seem to forget these days.

But what struck me most about this encounter is that I saw the humanity of that priest. I was the penitent but he gave me a chance to see that like me, he, too, has struggles. He's not an angel, and he has weakness he still needs to overcome.

And, I think, this makes him more credible.