Wednesday, March 07, 2007

the start of the count down

so, it's march 8 and i am starting to mark the count down for vacation. i'll just be in the seminary as a prenovice for one month, and i don't know what comes next...

i have to be honest that i long to be on a break. being in the formation house seemed to exhaust me. i seemed drained. i felt so uninspired and i guess, i need a breather after the turbulence that has visited me a few days ago. the turbulence that has rocked my faith, and has left me almost lifeless.

i need a change of atmosphere to see things in another perspective.

however, before moving on to this perspective, setting things in their proper place is very much in order. i am concluding my stay here in the formation house, and i have to stay that it has been enriching. having been granted another chance for discernment is indeed a grace. and i will always be grateful to those individuals who have made it possible.

fr. mols, the in-charge of the seminarians, came instantly in mind. i know i caused him hurt when i told him 3 years ago that i was no longer continuining. he didnt mince his words as a rejoinder. he was disappointed. but last year, when i apologized and hinted that i was entertaining the idea to return, he gladly welcome me back. with open arms, so to say.

having met individuals--special individuals--along this journey has also given me so much to thank for. sure thing, life may be lonely at times, but i thank god for friends . they have been the best invention since inhalers. :)

among these individuals worth mentioning is my batch: jesvir, miguel, joseph, gon and bonnie. they may not be perfect, at times, they have even caused me discouragement and disappointment. but i saw in them myself. i witnessed how they struggled, they fought the elements (ie people, events, dreams, etc) that have come their way and remained victorious.

i hope that everyone in the batch continues.